| |
I realised after Asi replied to my last entry that there is (at least) one person who follows my life based on this lj, so, following old Benjy's advice, here's a bit of an update ;)
I'm now officially a working class shmuck! Got hired at a (very) small game dev company here in Melbourne after I finished uni last year, and been programming and stuff ever since! Did you ever see that coming, in the old days of Apocalypse Trigger and StarGate MUD? ;)
Since it's a small place, we don't really work on the types of projects that I dream about when I sleep (at that place it's mostly licenses and casual games), so in my spare time, I'm working on a game project with a few uni friends. It's at the guy-walking-across-a-screen stage at the moment.
Other updates in my life - I'm officially moving out in a couple of weeks, which is also around the time that will mark two years for me and Rena! :) Lots of stuff happening, belying the usual uneventfulness of my life.
On a side note, I'm thinking about making a developer blog for the game project, where I can keep my thoughts in order about it and people can see how we're going. If I do, I'll link to it on here, but I'll try to keep updating this with personal stuff as well... we'll see how it goes.
And in regards to finishing uni, here're some final words, from our old friend Mr. Franklin:
"A learned blockhead is a greater blockhead than an ignorant one." | |
|
Feeling very mortal today. Learned more about Eta Carinæ, which could wipe out half to all life on the planet at any moment... but probably mostly because of the car accident which held me up on the way to work today. It was at a T intersection, just coming off the freeway. A car, smashed up, with a spray of glass spread out in a fan from the driver's seat window, into the middle of the T. And in the middle, a few pools of very dark blood. The police and ambulance were there, but nobody was hurrying. The looks on their faces were... grim. By the time it was my turn to drive past, firemen were spreading this sand stuff over the blood... I guessed to soak it up, or something. I should find out what that is. I feel an incredible sense of urgency. I must get things done. I must continue on my path. I am a scavenger, feeding emotion off the slain. Earlier today I said: "We all use people. We all use each other." I wonder: is this what becoming cynical feels like? *DEPRESS RAY* | |
|
look at the moon, look at the stars, look at the sun
look at the ocean and the desert and the mountains and the sky
say i am just a speck of dust inside a giant's eye
i am just a speck of dust inside a giant's eye
-
things don't feel right over here
lately I ain't been seein' clear
it don't feel right, it don't feel right
it don't feel, it don't feel, I can't feel it no more
-
and if there's nothing left to die for
and all this our beauty is just decay
and if there's nothing left to die for
then you and me
let's go out going all the way
"We are all racing towards death. No matter how many great, intellectual conclusions we draw during our lives, we know they're all only man-made, like God. I begin to wonder where it all leads. What can you do, except do what you can do as best you know how." | |
|
Imma writing this in what was formerly Writely, and is now incorporated into Google. At work, btw, which is pretty cool so far. So yeah, /test. | |
|
I was going to make some commentary on the whole Wii/PS3/360 thing, but halfway through I was interrupted by seeing Good Night, and Good Luck. And instead of posting a well-formed opinion on something that doesn't really matter, I'd like to post a quote from Ed Murrow, the man the film was based on, on television. "To those who say people wouldn't look; they wouldn't be interested; they're too complacent, indifferent and insulated, I can only reply: There is, in one reporter's opinion, considerable evidence against that contention. But even if they are right, what have they got to lose? Because if they are right, and this instrument is good for nothing but to entertain, amuse and insulate, then the tube is flickering now and we will soon see that the whole struggle is lost. This instrument can teach, it can illuminate; yes, and it can even inspire. But it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends. Otherwise it is merely wires and lights in a box. Good night, and good luck. " With a slight change of wording, this is extremely relevant, not only to television of the current day, but to computers and consoles. There was a time when technology had outpaced those who would use it as a means for their own ends; where there was no requirement on games but to amuse and entertain - to allow the user to relax and escape - and to pursue the ideals of excellence. This is no longer the case, and although other mediums have matured in this aspect (film, and television to an extent), gaming is still very much in remiss. Don't let the nomenclature "games" fool you; our medium is called games because those are its origins, but it has evolved far past being simple diversions (distant vision doesn't exactly encompass what TV has become, either). It is time for the medium to mature in time with its evolution - for its function be more than just to amuse and entertain, and for powerful ability to insulate to be recognized and avoided. If you'd like, search out Murrow's (more famous) quote on fear and freedom. It's also quite relevant in the current day, particularly considering the disinformation campaign that the U.S. President has inflicted upon his countrymen. | |
|
--;  Now, to see whether Peter Jackson can be trusted! Wish me luck... | |
|
Picatures!   My workstation! Discerning viewers might note the scandalous use of Apple stickers, my A Song of Ice and Fire collection, and the fact that I had Windows XP running through a native emulator (Parallels). When taking these pictures, I felt like something was missing...  There we go! Now to get back to work :'( | |
|
Looking back on my journal I am frankly disgusted and dismayed. When did this space turn into an internet meme/song lyric recital page? In order to return it to some form of cohesion, I shall briefly discuss my life, and then post up a story I wrote based on a PK League fight I had as my priest against an assassin - more details later. So, what's been happening, you ask? I gots me an iMac, for starters. 20-inch monitor, 2.0Ghz Core Duo (thanks, ALEX), 2GB RAM, 250GB HD. It is, as Roba would say, "the sex". To house it I purchased a nice desk, but because ya'll are forners, you only get pics of the box.  Okay, okay, I'll fix you up with a proper picture soon. Needless to say, I'm set up 4 lyf. Elsewise, I saw Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, which rocked in the way that only silly adventure comedies done right can. I mean, he's playing an organ with his face tentacles! FACE TENTACLES, I TELLS YAH! And as for the ending, well... everyone who has seen it will know what I'm talking about. Yes. Erm. On the work front, have been doing some website work for me mum's band, which you can see over here. Life is good; I'm not doing nearly as much work as I should be doing, not only on the website, but writing, uni-wise, and folio-wise, but still, it is good. As is Dances With Wolves. On to the main attraction! A few things you need to know in advance; firstly, the MUD is a lot more solo-friendly, meaning each character has access to all of the skills in the game, and can level up what he/she chooses - the primary reason to choose a class, however, is to get the class-specific abilities, and the much, much cheaper (exp-wise) leveling of skills native to that class. You also get to choose your stats, and for this reason, most end-game characters, even priests, were all-rounders, focusing heavily on melee skills and health, with class abilities assisting their melee pwnage. In my case, I was a priest of the diety Fish, giving me such useful rituals (spells) as major shield, fumble, medium heal, and the ability to summon dust devils at will, to name a few. I could go on with the explaining, but I'm hoping that I've abstracted the game mechanics enough in the story that it can be understood by a non-player. It was a fun fight, and fun to write, and I hope you enjoy ;) Spite vs. Adapa
Ah, that takes me back. I was partway through my intensive training in the underwater chambers of the Fish temple, in the hands of the cold yet fierce instructors who taught me how to survive (among many other things), when I heard about this “Hunter’s Club,” a round robin for fighters from all guilds to test their skills in real combat.
I was interested, and I had a few hours every few days to myself, which I hadn’t been able to fill – I had no other life than my training, unlike some of my peers. I managed to find the man to talk to about it – I met him on a dark, windswept rooftop; I was buffeted by the ferocious wind while he hid in the shadows of a large gargoyle. After appraising me he decided to let me join, and informed me that my first fight was to be against a Klatchian assassin named Spite Fedaykin – an experienced killer at least twice my age.
I was worried to say the least, for I had heard of this man, more specifically of the skill he possessed in sneaking up to his opponents and taking them down without them knowing it, until the blade pierced skin. I ran through my tactics in the days leading up to the fight, and honed my perceptive ability as much as I could. We were scheduled to fight in Ohulan Cutash, and, although it pains me to say it, I could feel the weeds of panic breaking through my hardened resolve.
I arrived a few minutes early, and scoped the area: it wasn’t too busy at that time of day, but it was still too loud to give me another sense with which to perceive my enemy. I noticed a brightly lit stall in the northwest corner of the market, and decided to spend the majority of my time near there, where I would have a better chance to see into the shadows.
At the appointed time, I made my way into the center of the market, where my opponent was waiting. He spoke to me in Morporkian laced heavily with Klatchian – I’m not much good at either, but picked up that he wanted me to start somewhat west of the center, while he would begin on the east side of the market. We agreed that leaving the market was tantamount to calling a forfeit, and then walked to our respective positions.
As soon as he gave me the signal to begin, I prayed to Fish for shielding and a whirlwind of faith to protect me. As I hurried over to the well-illuminated stall, I glanced back to my opponent, but saw only settling dust where he had been just a moment ago. Once I reached the stall I prepared myself for battle, drawing my ornate warhammer and finding an opportune place where my back was set reassuringly against a solid wall.
After a minute or so I noticed movement to the left of me – I tried to pretend I didn’t notice, but he must have seen the shift in my features, for I perceived nothing more. Another five minutes and, looking over to me right, I saw a form slipping away – I had spotted him again.
The third time he came he was more brazen – but when I saw him he did not turn to try again, but kept approaching me. I noticed him fingering a couple of metallic objects in his right hand, but I didn’t catch enough glimpses to decide what they were.
Now that he was close, I charged him, bringing my warhammer up to strike. As I swung, he flicked one of the objects out of his hand, which was thrown with enough force to push it’s way through my padded kaftan, and pierce my skin.
I instantly felt pain course through my body, but while he was busy attacking my dust devil I prayed to Fish for healing, and was able to return to close to full strength. But to my chagrin, once he noticed my recovery he flicked the second of his deadly weapons at my neck, and once again the poison flowed into my blood and weakened me to the point of collapse.
I just managed to utter the words needed for Fish to heal me again, but hitting the extremes of health and sickness was playing havoc with my mind and body. I called down two more of my cyclone protectors from Dunmanifestin, and swung repeatedly at my foe.
It was no use – my ornate was too cumbersome. I switched weapons to my wooden staves, quick and deadly, and bruised him a few times, although I missed many more than I hit. However, the constant pressure of my three comrades and I wore him down, and he fled out of the stall, luring my dust devils away from me.
I chased after him, but was not able to catch him, and the hold I had over my companions was weakening. I made a tactical retreat to my safe haven, and let my control diminish until the whirlwinds had dissipated completely.
My opponent, after finding me again in the one place he could do me no serious harm, swore fiercely and charged me down, throwing his all into imparting the killing blow. I took advantage of this – after performing the rites to call two dust devils down, I began raining blows down on his already tortured body. He soon ran again, but this time I followed closely on his heels until, noting what was ahead, I stepped back and took the opportunity for me to be the one to hide in the shadows.
He had careened out of the plaza and into the town’s watch house, which was situated just off the market, with my whirlwinds in close pursuit. The first lesson that you are taught in looking after your wind-driven compatriots is to never let them inside .
With the assassin running and the dust devils chasing, together they managed to turn the watch office inside out – breaking furniture, destroying documents, throwing everything here and there until nothing was left but scattered debris on the floor. I chuckled and quickly choked off the strength I gave the whirlwinds, leaving the assassin battered and dazed, lying atop a rather irate sergeant.
Needless to say, he found himself behind bars, and although as a wealthy assassin this was merely an temporary inconvenience, I didn’t want to anger him further so I visited him late that day, informing him that since he had left the arena he had automatically forfeited. He grudgingly conceded the fact – he was still annoyed but I don’t think he was angry enough to come after me.
I decided to bolt the door of my room in my dormitory for the next few nights, just in case.- Music:Incubus - Talk Shows On Mute
| |
|
A certain shade of green,
tell me, is that what you need?
All signs around say move ahead.
Could someone please explain to me
your ever present lack of speed?
Are your muscles bound by ropes?
Or do grudges cloud your day?
My sources say the road is clear,
and street signs point the way.
Are you gonna stand around 'till 2012 A.D.?
What are you waiting for,
A certain shade of green?
I think I grew a gray watching you procrastinate.
What are you waiting for,
A certain shade of green?
Would a written invitation
signed, "Choose now or lose it all,"
sedate your hesitation?
Or inflame and make you stall?
You've been raised in limitation,
but that glove never fit quite right.
The time has passed for hand-me-downs,
choose a new, please evolve,
take flight.
Green? What are you waiting for?
What are you waiting for?
A written invitation?
A public declaration?
A perfect constellation?
Remember when you procrastinate you choose last
What are you waiting for? - Mood:determined
 - Music:A Certain Shade of Green
| |
|
Yay-- this time it is I, who gets to do the blaming, ZAI! 1. How old do you wish you were?32, because by then I will have obviously accomplished everything that I've planned. :P Seriously though, I'm happy with my age. 2. Where were you when 9/11 happened?Home. 3. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?Embarrassingly enough, if no one's around I'll tip it over just a bit :P 4. Do you consider yourself kind?I'd like to, not really that sure though. 5. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?Probably my upper back, cuz' I think that's the only part of me that isn't flabby or pimply. 6. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?Chinese or Ancient Greek. 7. Do you know your neighbours?Not really. I don't do neighbors. 8. What do you consider a vacation?A period of two or more days in which I leave my place of domicile for somewhere where I get to eat out all the time and have nothing scheduled. A method of discerning whether I'm going on vacation is to see if I am getting things ready for a large creative writing session, which on the vacation I summarily disregard. 9. Do you follow your horoscope?Not at all! 10. Would you move for the person you loved?Yep. But that's just because I don't need to be in any one place to do what I love. 11. Are you touchy feely?Only with one person. 12. Do you believe that opposites attract?Short answer: yes. 13. Dream job?Author. 14. Favourite channel(s)?Torrentspy. 15. Favourite place to go on weekends?For a walk! 16. Showers or baths?Showers all the way. Baths are made for tiny people. 17. Do you paint your nails?Nope. 18. Do you trust people easily?Trust == Time / Dislike. 19. What are your phobias?Failure, speaking with straaaangers. 20. Do you want kids?Eventually :P 21. Do you keep a handwritten journal?Nope. I would if my handwriting wasn't shot. 22. Where would you rather be right now?In a forest in the middle of nowhere, with a comfortable chair and a pad and a pen. 24. Heavy or light sleep?A lot lighter recently than I'm used to. Went from 10-12 hours per night to 5-7. 25. Are you paranoid?About failure, yes. 26. Are you impatient?Sometimes. 27. Who can you relate to?Everybody! I believe that empathy is an important skill for a writer, and since all Zorks being Zneets, and all Zneets being Zalks means all Zalks are Zorks, I am an extremely empathetic person! 28. How do you feel about interracial couples?TRAITORS! As I'm part of one, I don't mind ;) Think the world would be a better place, yada yada. 29. Have you been burned by love?By puppy love/lust, yeah :P Real love? No. 30. What's your life motto?Butting your head against a wall = progress. 31. What's your main ringtone on your mobile?Not sure, Rena chose it ;) 32. What were you doing at midnight last night?Talking to my little brother about X3. 33. What did the last text on your mobile say?It was Rena, telling me that she was going to eat my dessert (Magnum something or other, yummmm...) 34. Whose bed did you sleep in last night?Eek. And not answering makes it even worse! :P 35. What colour shirt are you wearing?Very faded white. 36. Most recent movie you watched?X3. 37. Name three things you have on you at all times?Wallet, phone, keys + usb. 38. What colour are your bed sheets?Purple-grey. 39. How much cash do you have on you right now?$25. 40. What is your favourite part of the chicken??? Don't like chicken that much >< 41. What's your favourite town/city?Melbourne, cuz' I haven't really been anywhere else yet :P (Sydney doesn't count, /spit) 42. I can't wait 'til:IPOD, IPOD IPOD IPOD!!! 43. Who got you to join myspace^H^H^H^H^H^H^HLJ?Was it Zai? Can't remember :P 44. What did you have for dinner last night?Subway, with half of it for free! Thank god for people who can't hear properly. 45. How tall are you barefoot?6'5 and a bit. 46. Have you ever smoked heroin?Nay. 47. Do you own a gun?Not even a waterpistol. Those things can put an eye out! 48. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?Milk. 49. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?My complete and utter obliviousness. 50. Do you have A.D.D.?clicka-clicka-clicka-clicka-clicka-click No. 51. What time did you wake up today?10:30 52. Current worry?Studio, fukn. And getting my driver's license. 53. Current hate?My hair. Needs a trim >< 54. Favourite place to be?With Rena. 55. Where would you like to travel?The Indus Valley ruins. 56. Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs?No frickin' clue. Dream is in the US working on games/writing. 57. Last thing you ate?Spaghetti Bolognaise! 58. What songs do you sing in the shower?Usually something They Might Be Giants. 59. Last thing that made you laugh?http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irony60. Worst injury you've ever had?'' , arm break in Year 8. 61. Does someone have a crush on you?In the words of that someone: "Yeah!" 62. What is your favourite candy?Liquorice! 63. What song do you want played at your funeral?I'd like the people burying me to decide, since they're the ones that have to sit through it ;) If they're feeling a little bit macabre, maybe William Shatner - You'll Have Time. | |
|
Post two in the embarrassing writing archive saga; wrote this in Year 9. I liked it :P
'In a small, dark inn in the middle of nowhere, the door swung open, then shut again. Gradually, people started noticing a thin figure in a black cloak at the end of the counter. The figure produced a broken pencil from somewhere in his left sleeve, and a smudged piece of paper from the other. There was a brief moment of faint scratching, then the paper sliced cleanly through the air and landed in front of the bartender. A look of panic crossed his face as he glanced at it; he rushed to the safe, opened it and grabbed a bottle. He polished a glass and filled it with a shaking hand before setting it down in front of the stranger. The black clad man slowly trailed a bony finger along the rim of the glass. He raised it to his lips and took a small, sharp sip. As he received a nod of approval, the bartender's heart started beating again, and he slouched back into his position behind the register.' | |
|
"By rocket to the moon - by airplane to the rocket, by taxi to the airplane..." They Might Be Giants resonate throughout my being as I sit, crammed in these tiny seats, as the bus flies down the freeway into the city. I glance over to the old-people section and see thinning white hair and wrinkles encapsulated between two shiny, white earphones.
A mouth that you'd instinctively expect to be pursed in admonition, murmuring about school dress codes is instead relaxed, in a broad, contented smile - the smile of a man who has managed to decifer how to live in a world that is beginning to forget that he ever existed.
His two female companions - the authenticity of their hair colour a subject for debate - mock his serenity, exaggeratedly bopping their heads up and down, grinning nervously. Unphased, he pulls one earphone out and offers it to the woman closest to him, whom I swear is the identical twin of my kindergarten teacher (NB: by process of elimination, this woman would have to be the good one).
Shocked and afraid, she quickly scans the bus for witnesses, and, not finding me, turns her head, allowing her companion to couch the auditory accessory into her left concha. She flinches at first contact, disbelief and horrified fascination chasing each other across her face as the sound begins to bounce around her ear canal. It is short-lived, but not, perhaps, in vain - as the man places the earphone back into his own ear, she lets forth a brief, unauthorized giggle - a possiblility, a suggestion of things to come. - Music:They Might Be Giants - Destination Moon
| |
|
Checking my (g)mail, I find: Monash Poetry Competition! You are required to submit under a nom de plume (which I contextually figured to mean "alias"), but that is practically a bonus for me, as I get to think up a crazy name to submit with! The question is though, what to submit? And so, I rummaged through what I will charitably call my "writing archive", and got lost in all the crazy stuff I used to come up with. I'm not sure what I'll submit yet (I probably won't submit anything unless I come up with something new), but I thought, in order to be able to update this blog more frequently, I might embarrass myself by baring some of these seminal works to discerning eyes. First up is a collection of self-quotations in a file named "philosophy.txt", dated from roughly five years ago. I think I remember coming up with these when I decided that Neitzsche, Socrates and Einstein must have started somewhere. Well... enjoy. A common mistake in human-kind's thinking is that the presence of one entity negates the possibility of the presence of any others - that two solutions cannot exist for the same problem.
To find the answer to a question, examine the train of thought which led you to that question.
There is no one answer for anyone, for anything - life, love... everyone has a different solution. But there are guidelines, which help you reach these solutions.
Time is a human invention. Everything that happens is just a reaction - things reacting with each other. Everything on Earth that happens is just one long reaction. Since everything reacts at different speeds, time is immaterial.
The power of the individual lies in choice. A decision is a great undertaking, and most of the people in our world have trouble just with simple ones. Why do we revere our Presidents, Prime Ministers, Kings, decision-makers above all else? It makes sense to us, but that's because we are us.
The Athenians discovered the power of the collective. It is they who began democracy, people having a choice... In their downfall, Socrates the philosopher began to realise the power of the individual. One person, one mind, one soul, is so unimaginably precious, so important, so vital, so unique, but in our world full of these such people, we never think that we are any better than anyone else. And we are not. But that does not mean that we cannot change things around us. That does not mean that one person does not have the power to change the course of all others. Why, just because each and every person can change the course of all, does it becomes impossible? Why is it that we think we cannot make a difference just because everyone else can as well?
Human nature is to find the most simple, the most adequate, the quick-fix solution. But when the life around us, the very nature we live in, shows us that this is not so, that there are no easy answers, why do we still miss the truth? That everything is complex, everything has many answers, and just because that is confusing to think about DOES NOT MEAN IT IS NOT TRUE.
We cannot fit everything inside our heads, this is true. Does that therefore mean that many things we cannot fit, cannot comprehend, are not there, are not reality?
We are always growing, changing, learning. When five years passes, we will look back on now as a time of immaturity and stupidity. Since there are many people ahead of us, we will always be thought of as having been done before. You should therefore not wait until you have reached a certain plataeu to be great, to be original, to be different. What will make you differ from everyone else is how you deal with the things you come to realise at any point in your growth - and in the case of an artist, how you express them. | |
|
Been doing a lot of thinking today. I believe my Archaeology mentors would be unhappy with me; I've been using the knowledge that they provide for my own purposes. They teach mummies and myth, I learn the origins of the world.
Is our society deliberate? I ask this because I have always subconsciously believed in the barrier between "us" and "them"; in the circles of old men whispering to each other about stratagems for running the universe in the next quarter. And through studying the birth of ancient civilizations, the causes and reasons behind our culture's predecessors, comes the realization that these old men are simply posteuring; they look officious and ride the wave.
What does this mean for me? Well, I followed a long chain of thoughts that were not particularly uplifting, including the abolishment of my purpose in life (that being, to achieve immortality through leaving an impression), to the end, which was tried and true: the purpose behind life is to enjoy it. It's almost going back to where I started, but it isn't. It's at a different place altogether.
If you ever wanted to ask me why I don't feel the need to supplement my thought processes chemically, well, now you know. I am able to (and am often compelled to) think perfectly crazy without any outside help! | |
|
Go to Wikipedia and look up your birth day (excluding the year). List three neat events, two births, and one death in your journal, including the year. Events: 1773 - America's first insane asylum opens for 'Persons of Insane and Disordered Minds' in Virginia 1810 - First Oktoberfest: The Bavarian royalty invites the citizens of Munich to join the celebration of the marriage of Crown Prince Ludwig of Bavaria to Princess Therese von Sachsen-Hildburghausen. 1859 - Self-described "Emperor of the United States" Joshua A. Norton issues a decree dissolving the U.S. Congress Births: 1860 - Elmer Sperry, American inventor (d. 1930) 1875 - Aleister Crowley, English occultist and author (d. 1947) Death: 1632 - Kutsuki Mototsuna, Japanese samurai commander (b. 1549) | |
|
| |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
rodomont's journal